He always acts so weird after I catch him masturbating with salad
Chick flicks get a bad rap. I understand that women tend to like these movies but that is mostly because women are more cerebral than men. Not that all men are dumb, but most men are really dumb. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a man, but I also know that I’m dumb as shit. Men like What and Women like Why movies and TV. By What stuff I mean action movies and sequences: “This guy hit this dude and got punched by this person and he died”. Why stuff: “They broke up because she can’t come to terms with the finality of life or their potential relationship because he’s going off to war because his mother didn’t hug him enough, etc.” If there was a formula for ‘chick flicks’, Nicholas Sparks figured it out years ago. Boy meets girl, they hate each other, they love each other, something ridiculously sad happens, the end. They are brilliant. You can use any actors with any time period. I wish I thought of it. A Walk to Remember is no exception to the recipe.
I have two contradictory strong feelings about this movie. As always, I’ll do the good news first. For what this movie is, it’s not bad. Acted pretty well, story moves right along, and had very good pacing. I didn’t feel like it was dragging its feet to stretch out the length of the movie. Mandy Moore was surprisingly good and I really felt for her character. If it wasn’t for The Fault in Our Stars, I would say this is the best movie about a teenage girl with cancer falling in love with a guy she shouldn’t fall in love with.
Now that I saw you cry I know now you have a soul
On the other hand, I hate this kind of movie. Cookie-cutter teenage-love sad ending drama movies are depressing, annoying, and hardly entertaining. I can’t get into movies where ultimately nothing happens. I have a short attention span. Even when doing cleanup around the house I need my wife to keep me on task or I will get distracted by everything. It’s not a lack of interest in having a clean house I just really have difficulty keeping focus. I’m sure I have some kind of ADD for adults but I digress. This movie is boring no matter what your attention span. We’ve seen this before. Cool guy tries to hook up with a unique rebel girl. His friends make him look worse than he actually is. He falls for her even though he has no logical reason to. She gets mad at him and they eventually get back together. Basically the first two thirds of this movie is a serious version of Not Another Teen Movie (which came out a year before A Walk to Remember). This isn’t even the RC Cola of chick flick movies. A Walk to Remember is the Shasta Cola of chick flicks. It shouldn’t even be on the radar.
No one with terminal cancer is that upbeat, I don’t care how good your drugs are.
The fact that Moore sings in this movie is a highlight, should tell you about the overall quality of the film. I don’t think her singing is bad but I am more impressed by her acting. Singers turned actors are hit and miss. You hope they won’t be Vanilla Ice but sometimes get a Mos Def and it’s all worth it. It’s one thing if the movie is a vehicle for the singer like all the Elvis Presley movies but they are trying to turn legit actor they need to not utilize the singing crutch. Mark Wahlberg is a great example of singer turned actor not using the crutch of singing. He even sung poorly in Renaissance Man on purpose for laughs, which I felt worked in his favor.
I didn’t know this was a secret Ace Ventura sequel
I wouldn’t want to remake A Walk to Remember. My main reason is that this is a remake of a remake, but I think it would be cool to make a totally different movie with this premise. I think it would be much better if instead of having terminal cancer he finds out she’s transgender. This would make a far more interesting movie. He falls in love with the person and realizes the whole gender thing is just a label and it doesn’t matter. Happily ever after. We get a happy ending and we have one more thing to make people realize transgender people are just that, people. Positive messages and all the warm and fuzzies you can handle. If (as a dude) you take a date to see a touching love story like that and don’t get anywhere with her, it’s your own damn fault.
As always I am Tim McDonald, your movie watching stunt double. Hit me up on Twitter or Facebook to make suggestions or comments. I would like to thank Brandon W. for his picture caption submission that won on Facebook.
